$half-shot.uk 'Stuck in the past' edition


'Phoenix' general Will Fri 1st Apr 2016

Okay. So I bought half-shot.uk. And halfshot.uk...and half-shot.lol/halfshot.lol...

OKAY FINE I also bought doug.dog.

But that's not the point. I'm going to have another stab at the blogging thing and aim to remain productive over the coming summer. I've used this inexcusabley terrible title for a good reason this time around.

Soup Penguin

Soup Penguin was an awesome concept from two awesome guys. Make a site dedicated to hardcore, good Linux jurno. We develop a site build by programmers, and write for the site as enthusiasts. Our competetion was a more-or-less non-programmer with (at the time) huge personal problems to take care of, and a site known for lying, clickbating and being generally awful that sometimes it felt a human had barely written it at all. However, we didn't succeed. We failed, badly.

Problem #1: I thought I could code.

Okay. I can code, but I'm not as good as someone who has ever so much done a days work on real web design. Bread was a clientside project through and through. I wrote it entirely so it could be worked on by multiple people, with every module replacable without it crashing down. The problem with that was twofold:

One - It's fucking expensive to generate every page on the fly where you are parsing huge chunks of text (oh yeah, every config and data file was json). This was on a GB of ram.

Two - Who cares. The backend just needs to work, not look pretty. Nobody cares how it looks, so long as it works good. The competition I mentioned knew this, and he wrote a ton more content and did a whole lot more because he just added features quickly, and set to work on articles.

So all in all, don't write bespoke software for your new site from the ground up. And if you do, remember to focus on it working well from the audiences perspective, not your own.

Problem #2: Time

None of us had time. Not really. I was still in full-time education and my partner-in-crime had work. Writing an article every day? Insanity. Much less a good one. We were totally out of our depth and needed a whole team to do that. A team who knew Linux and cared too. I was already working full time on having a working backend, and nobody would write any articles until they were sure it would work.

Problem #3: PHP

Okay, more of a Problem 1 thing but PHP needs a special mention for being totally awful. Seriously, it's like an ex where you don't understand why you ever went for it.

Also, it looks like we got hacked today (probably the aformentioned scripting language) so I don't have the energy left to recover it. I gave SP my all, honestly, but what are two men against the rest of the internet?


This site/domain is going to be mine for a little while, and it's exciting. I can't promise anything regular, but it's nice to have your own space to put stuff. As a warning, I want to say I don't edit my words without extreme reasons to do so. I'll talk about NodeJS sucking, I'll talk about furry porn, I'll probably lightly touch upon whatever wisdom Mr. Torvalds will give to the community so I offer no safety, nor pity for those that read my content. If you don't like it, tough. I'm all for people telling me I'm a horrible person or that I should die of cancer so contact me through the usual means if you like. I can take it. I love these discussions.

Other than that, I can't think of anything else to say. The source code should already be on my Github, and it ain't pretty. And that's only about 80% of NodeJS's fault.


ACE ATTORNEY ANIME!!! I'm excited because it's been a year since I've played it through and they have a mix of old and new cases from the games so watching a fully voiced and animated version will probably make me cry :').

On that positive note, I'll leave you guys to your business. I've avoided mentioning anything truly polarising so I should be in the clear for keeping it peaceful, right?